What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
09.06.2025 02:42
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
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In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
TEXT:
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
What sexual fantasies do you have?
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Make Nazis afraid again!
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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.